Having cancer really sucks
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I developed the resources below from my own experience and those of other beloveds with cancer who have come before you.
Reflecting back, what I could have most benefited from when I was first diagnosed were four things.
A way to share my news that didn’t end up with me bathing in negative emotions all the time (skip to Sharing Your News).
Approaches that would protect my mental health in various situations - I found myself so overwhelmed that I couldn’t figure out what to say (skip to Three Handy Phrases for Beloveds).
Help with sleep - as a previously good sleeper, I suddenly found it hard to fall and stay asleep (skip to Sleep Tips),
Perhaps most importantly, a response to the people offering me support that didn’t force me to become a volunteer coordinator and drain me (skip to How Your Supporters Can Organize Themselves: The Healing Cruise).
Beloved, I hope these resources will help make your experience suck at least a little bit less.
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Sharing your news
Sharing the news about a cancer diagnosis matters to your mental health. Read about my experience and ways to maintain your mental health.
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3 Handy Phrases for Beloveds
Responding to questions about your cancer status can be overwhelming. These phrases will reduce your stress by helping you control when and with whom you discuss your health in a way that still lets others know you appreciate them.
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Sleep Tips
If you’re finding it hard to sleep, you’re in good company. Check out these tips for strategies you may not have tried yet.
How Your Supporters Can Organize Themselves
Cancer is emotional business. Giving and receiving support are both wrapped up in emotions–and time-consuming communications.
When I was going through cancer, it felt overwhelming to me to organize people. When kind people asked me how they could support me, I had no idea what to say. I often felt bad that I didn’t have ideas for other people, even though I wanted them to stay connected to me. I lacked the energy and creativity to come up with ideas. I now know that unpleasant emotions tamp down our creative juices, so no wonder I couldn’t come up with anything!
When the tables turned and I became a Supporter, I wanted to show my friends going through cancer–my beloveds – that I care about them without being intrusive, making them even more concerned about cancer treatment, or burdening them for ideas on how to help. Part of me also wanted to know if I was doing enough or a good job. The hard part is that we can’t do what we really want to do, which is to take away the cancer.
The Healing Cruise Support Model gives Beloveds a low-burden way to direct all the kindhearted people who want to be helpful but don’t know how, and gives a group of Supporters a structure that organizes their many hands and hearts and reassures them that they are making a meaningful contribution.
